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The Fellowship of the Blog...

Just the documented tales of my seemingly mundane daily adventures told through the beauty of exaggeration, pizaz, imagination and just the right amount of interpretative dance.

The 70th day without Robyn…

Ok, so I think I can officially say that today has been the worst day of my life.

So far.

In fact, today has been such a splendiferous day that I may go so far as to put it in my list of ‘Top-ten-days-to-repress-right-down-in-me-shoes’ which of course includes:
- that one time you locked me in the laundry with a demon huntsmen (the spider variety not the actual woodsmen) until Ice eventually came along and ate it god bless his soul,
- the day my first pet died when I was in primary school and the cat tried to dig her up so we ended having to put a gigantic rock on top of the grave,
-and that fun time my appendix decided to not be an appendix and be a
volcano instead!

So with that small snippet of ‘The-top-ten-days-to-repress-right-down-in-me-shoes’ in mind, I am sure that you will heed what I am about to say with great care.

Basically, I failed chemistry.

Which in itself is bad enough, but when you couple it with the fact that I simultaneously failed another subject also… well that is where the fun times begin.

Metaphorically speaking, right about now I am flipping off the sky with a big ass sign that reads “F YOU JULY 18TH!”

I am trying to see the silver lining in the things that are happening today. I am trying to take it in my stride with that whole “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” lark, but to be honest, its kind of hard to be happy about the situation when there is really only one thing on my mind right now…

And it’s not really the fact that I failed by one percent that I am particularly sad about. It isn’t the fact that my lectures never reply to their emails, and when they do Banksia Park decides to have its own personal tornado which breaks the power lines either. It isn’t because no matter who I phone I will always be redirected to yet another person who still doesn’t know the answers to my questions. It’s not because the dogs chewed up plastic bags today and I slammed my thumb in the door while simultaneously trying to feed them and remove plastic from their mouths. And its not really the fact that I have to resist the exams either….

It’s just the fact that I have to resist them next week.

And I am flying out tomorrow morning.

I was meant to be flying out tomorrow morning.

In a nutshell, the past two months of study and hard work weren’t hard enough evidently, and as disappointing and as depressing as that statistic most definitely is, I can’t avoid the inevitable choice I have to make before tomorrow.

Like that famous pop song which I am sure is not altogether that famous because I can’t even remember the name of the artist: “Should I stay or should I go?”

Because honestly, right now I want both. And neither.

I just want to sleep.

But of course I don’t have time to, because as cruel fate would have it, I need to decide before tomorrow, and somehow contact people about my decision with no power (which is almost as simple as playing Kaplunk blindfolded)!

*Dramatic page break to build tension just equate this to an add break*

Two hours have passed since the last paragraph and this one and yes, I have decided to still go on the trip. Arrangements have been made for me to do the supplementary exams at a later date (power was finally restored and I practically screamed HALLELUJIA mentally when my instructor finally replied to my umpteenth message) which the instructors were about as reluctant to grant as Ice is about giving up the toilet paper rolls!

Finally things are sorted (at least for the next two weeks)and after that emotionally draining day the sound of my anxiety kind of resembles a high pitched squealing noise in the background. The puff levels of my hair are hight.

So even though today hasn’t exactly been the best day on any account (there was even a storm and Stormy’s storm senses were tingling), it is my last day in Adelaide for a little while which is kind of sad but exiting but sad but exiting but sad but exiting!

So this is me, signing off momentarily from blogging duties to road trip twelve hours a day with me dad in order to see your probably no ginger self in WA and await the time when the powers of the Internet are once again bestowed upon me!

So if today hasn’t been some Devine challenge to test my resolve and sanity for the impending journey of being in a car with Carzy Ol’ Pappi for twelve hours of the day, then I honestly don’t know what is!

To Agent Happy and The Jungle King, be good while I am away, try not to eat cat poop however strong the urge may be, and always remember to stay fabulous while wearing hats.

To The Bun and Moby (‘Supreme Overlord of all’), continue to do whatever it is you two do with your time, (probably perfecting that cuteness routine that you’ve got going with the floppy ear thing that you do so well).

To Deputy Fishfingers, you are man of the house now, and I may even be promoting you to Sheriff in order to protect the Ohana while I am gone. Try not to go power mad. The time for worshiping cats is not going to repeat itself any time soon!

To my Mamma Goose, whom I will miss more than I missed my favourite pair of cargo pants when they got a hole in them and were reluctantly thrown away (which is an awful lot let me clarify!) I wish you were coming, but just imagine how great it is going to be when we get home after being stuck in a confined space with your husband for days on end! I’m pretty sure ‘Favourite Parent’ award is on the horizon if my sanity doesn’t leave me first!

And of course, to rob, to quote my favorite youtuber,

'I will see you on Friday'!

…Am I interrupting something guys?? 

#it’sfineI’llcomebacklater #canyoufeeeeltheloooovetonigggght!!

…Am I interrupting something guys??

#it’sfineI’llcomebacklater #canyoufeeeeltheloooovetonigggght!!

When I am not wearing the costume, it kind of just looks like I have skinned a dragon… :/

When I am not wearing the costume, it kind of just looks like I have skinned a dragon… :/

The ‘Ummm, I kinda lost count lets just say the 65th’ day without Robyn…

Apologies dearest sis for the lack of blogging on my behalf over the past three days, but as you know it has been AVCON weekend, a weekend which basically translates to ‘Me squatting at Liz’s house by night while simultaneously attending my so called ‘nerd convention’ by day and therefore my once constant access to the beauty that is the Internet has been sufficiently limited’!

I apologise for the lack of full stops in that, so please let me make it up to you by giving you a run you through the shenanigans which took place over the past three days!

So basically the Friday night of the AVCON weekend consisted of mainly the opening spectacular; a parade and lights show which showcases a variety of video games, anime, comic books and numerous other things that I could list which would undoubtably make you either fall asleep or stop reading this straight away, so I’ll cut the list there! To try and relate it to something you can identify with, just imagine a crowd of about five-thousand people gathered around a main stage, dancing and singing along to popular club songs while in their best dress.

… Except replace ‘popular club songs’ with ‘songs akin to the Pokemon theme tune’, and replace ‘best dress’ with ‘whatever gaming character you felt like dressing up as on the day’!

… Yeh, that is a little more accurate.

On the Saturday and Sunday, dressed as Spyro the purple dragon, with Toothless and other various gaming characters at my side which made up our little band of miscreants, we explored the many stalls at the convention which sold everything from character t-shirts and stuffed cuddly animals to the eye piece of a fully functioning Dalek (I had an internal debate with myself of practicality versus awesomeness when the purchasing of the Dalek’s eye piece was concerned… The lack of funds eventually won the argument).

Speaking of fully functioning Daleks, one of them was hooked up to a microphone which you could speak into and the sound would be transformed so that the terrifying death machine in front of you could say it. Most people said “Exterminate” or “Destroy all humans” and other Dalek-esque sayings as such. As for me, well I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of hearing a Dalek, the sworn enemy of The Doctor and quite possibly one of the most terrifying villains ever created… Sing ‘Under the Sea’ from the Little Mermaid now could I??

The complete shock and awestruck on everyone’s face which eventually amounted in a standing ovation on my behalf after the Dalek finished his tune was amazing and hilarious and probably one of the funniest things I have ever partaken in. I guess you could say it was one of those ‘you had to be there’ moments.

So basically, there are three different types of AVCONites, as I like to call them. Firstly you have the die hard Anime or gaming fans, the people who cosplay professionally and almost always win the costume competitions. These people are great because their costumes are amazing although you will probably offend them if you try to talk to them about their favourite Anime or video game. It’s best just to high five and leave. The second group are the more casual attendees, the people much like myself who still dress up and have a lot of fun but are not hard core fans or would be much use at the quiz night held on Saturday night. This group is the largest population of AVCONites, as equally great and fun to be around and are pretty much made entirely from crazy uni students? Which brings us to the third and final group of people you will see at AVCON, the people who do not dress up altogether and are skeptical of the whole ‘nerd convention’ thing. The third group are usually people who have never attended AVCON before and have fallen prey to the whole ‘nerdy, cult like conspiracy’ rumours, but by the end of the day have bought a Pikachu onesie, changed on the spot and have officially transformed from a person from group number three to a true AVCONite in group number two!

And it is a beautiful transition let me assure you!

I saw a few familiar faces this year, including that really good looking Sora that we saw last year and conveniently stalked for ten minutes around the convention. I also saw again the David Tennant look alike, whom I hugged for obvious reasons and complimented on his talent for being able to run exactly like The Doctor in Doctor Who.

I kid you not. That lad had the strut down pat!

I also had to suppress the urge to propose to him on the spot. Again for obvious reasons…

I was also hugged by thirty two people, including one small six year old girl who was also dressed as Spyro and asked if she could have a photo with me. And at that moment I almost died from the overwhelming cuteness!

All in all, I had a blast at AVCON, as I did last year, although I think i can say with confidence that if I see another man dressed up as Princess Leia ever again it will be too soon!

I think the fact that AVCON works so well and is such a fun place though boils down to one thing really. I mean sure, the costume competitions are fun and the merchandise stalls and the video games and the interactive panels are cool also, but I think the particular atmosphere that AVCON is is what makes it so great. The whole atmosphere and in general, the feel at AVCON is like nothing I have ever experienced or been involved with anywhere else in the world. Everyone is just brought together really.

Now I’m not talking about a cult or a conspiracy or anything along those lines that some people jump to conclusions about whenever they see a group of teenagers dressed as elves or dragons or other fantasy beings, I am talking about how everyone is friends at AVCON.

Simple as that.

It is the only place I have ever been to where you can randomly walk up to someone, start a conversation, and become best friends within a few minutes, or simply yell ‘free hugs’ and count how many people come flocking!

There is no judgement there or insecurity or jealousy, everyone is just happy to be there, and because of that I think everyone is happier to each other. Everyone is really supportive of each other, there is no bullying or rowdiness like at other conventions, hell it doesn’t even matter if you have never spoken to a particular person before, you ask them for a photo with you and BAM, you are friends, and you high five whenever you see each other from then on throughout the convention!

And I think that is a really cool way to be!

So cool in fact that whenever you leave the convention to get food and walk through the city to the food court, attracting shifty glances from the outside world, you feel kind of sad really, because you are back in this world where people look down on others for not liking the same things as them, or not dressing the same way or where no one talks to each other on the bus!

Whenever AVCON is over each year I find myself missing my people almost.

Or rather, more truthfully, I find myself wishing that the whole world was more like AVCON…

The 62nd day without Robyn…

So I have been awake for the past twenty-six hours.

I kid you not.

That shit happened.

And a weird phenomenon occurred, something that I did not expect to ever happen in my life time.

I saw the sun come up.

Well actually I take that back, I have seen the sun come up before, I am not THAT lazy, but rather the sun came up in the same time zone that I was awake for when the sun set the previous night!

I was stuck in this weird alternative time zone where all time was seemingly lost altogether actually, it’s kind of hard to explain. Fact is though, I saw the sun coming up, and I didn’t even wake up early to see it like on Anzac Day or when we get ready to go to the airport. I. Was. Already. Awake.

And although I have been awake for the past twenty-six hours, I find myself in a weird hyperactive state of mind where I honestly feel like I could run my own marathon right about now rather than just watch a television marathon. It’s like my brain is trying to trick my body into thinking it has already slept and is re-energised but is really badly overcompensating and I feel like I have ADHD right now or something.

I will probably have a terrible energy crash sometime soon.

Surprisingly enough though, although I was awake and conscious for these past twenty-six hours, not allot was actually done and to be quite honest with you, I pretty much sat on the bed in the spare room with the twins for the whole time excuse toilet and sustenance breaks.

And I am sure by now that you know this lack of movement for twenty six hours was due to one very important thing.

We marathoned Fringe season five.

That is quite allot of fringe let me tell you! But now that it is over can I be the first to say

Oh

My

Dear

LORDY

LORD!

…I can’t actually find words right now which accurately express the immense feels I have for that show, considering I made a promise to myself last year that I would not watch the LAST SEASON EVER MADE until year twelve was over (an event that occurred over nine months ago might I add), but if you could have heard the high pitched non-stop squealing noise that seemed to emanate from my general direction, I’m pretty sure you safely say that I was in a very emotionally unstable state.

And the twins can vouch for me on that! Hands down!

…And now if you don’t mind, I am going to have me a little sleepy because I think that power crash I was talking about has finally begun to kick in…

It’s 7.15am. Goodnight Australia.

The 61st day without Robyn…

So I had a little convo this morning with Mamma Goose and Crazy Ol’ Pappi, and it went a little something like this…

Dad: So Tam, it’s our anniversary today, what prezzie did you get me?

Me:… Wait. Isn’t it yours and mum’s anniversary? We never got married, I owe you diddly squat!

Dad: Well, it’s more of ‘family anniversary’ really. If we never got married you would have never had been born! *extends grabby hands in the universal sign of “gi’ me” *

Me: You had Rob before you guys were married! Besides what did you even get Mother of mine on this special day??

Dad:

Me:

Dad:

Mum:*jumping to the rescue* We decided not to do prezzies this year…

Well played Mammy. Well played.

I will end the convo there because let’s just say that dad decided to stroll down the awkward conversational road of ‘how exactly’ his two children were brought into this world that put the speech Mrs Kennedy gave us in year three to shame…

*continues to suppress those happy memories*

So mum and dad packed up early this morning ready and eager to head off on a jolly two day holiday for their anniversary, carelessly leaving their temporarily only daughter at home by her onesie.

A sudden wave of déjàvu hit me when they left, and I was mentally transported back to when you left us at the airport and Le Parents kept on about how ‘they would never leave us’ and made us ‘promise never to leave them’ (which was a bit redundant actually, considering we were at the airport at the time seeing you off on a plane with a ticket you had already paid for…)

'Never leave us'

I spy with my little eye…

A LIE!

… I better be getting a bloody fantastic souvenir from this. Just saying.

Well, I wasn’t completely alone to be honest. Aside from the obvious puppies to keep me company ( although i wasn’t sure i wanted to deal with Sargent Puddle’s sass for two days straight by my self), they did make sure i would have all the essentials as to survive in their absence. Before they jetted off, mum bought me a peace offering of creamies and chicken nuggets, somehow trying to make up for the fact I will be Ohana-less for the next two days….

Which is a perfect time for me to throw raving and outlandish parties that would put even Gatsby to shame where I invite a bunch of rowdy teenagers who pee in the pool and break the nice china and don’t wipe their feet on the welcome mat and display other such nasty behaviour that mum and dad are terrified of happening every time they leave me home alone as any other crazy, party loving teen my age would when their folks are out of town!!

…or you know, I could invite the twins over and we could make tent forts in the living room while marathoning Fringe season five and eating tea and biscuits and forgetting the fact there is an outside world…

Life is full of tough decisions isn’t it!

The 60th day without Robyn…

Five days.

Repeat. We have five days till AVCON!

Which of course means one thing. It is time to whip out ‘le old sewing skills’, (which I pretty much only do once a year at this time anyway) and fix up me costume for the festival which is only, and let me repeat to you,

Five. Days. Away.

I think it is safe to say that I am a little bit exited. Actually scrap that, I am a lot of bit exited. After the whole heart wrenching, soul killing few months of hard core study and mind numbing exams, the prospect of actually getting out of the house and going somewhere (which is not uni or maccas) is making me a little giddy from happiness!

So today, aside from eating breaky at Newman’s with The Nanny and Mamma Goose (and silently judging the staff there because they only supplied raspberry jam and not strawberry, come on people this is 2013) as well as watching Pirates of The Caribbean 3 while curled up on Mamma’s bed, I began to stitch up the holes in last years costume that were made by Agent Happy when she ever so kindly frolicked in the bushes at last years Halloween!

Needless to say, letting your dog borrow your costume while you run from garden to garden after sun set on the prowl for candy was probably not the best move on hind sight…

I regret it not though. She looked dang cute as a purple dragon-dog!

Hence today was dedicated to fixing the numerous holes and tears (there were only four actually) in order to bring my costume back to its former glory as it was last year because really,

Five days!

However, with the season of AVCON fast approaching, the season of something entirely different coincides. And that my friend is the glorious and heartwarming season of

Chores.

*for all those in the audience who seem to have lost their ability to recognise sarcasm…*

*That was it*

For you see, in order to attend AVCON and purchase all of its wonderful souvenirs and goodies, one must have money, and because I am opposed to conform to the capitalist notion of ‘getting a part time job’ as you may be well aware of, my only option really is to perform good deeds for others and hope that they find it in the goodness f their hearts to tip me for my excellent work to he we buy the souvenirs and goodies which require the money in the first place!

Of course I could always beg, borrow and steal the money some other way, put my years of experience watching Supernatural and Fringe to the test, but the old fashioned gentlemen inside of me tells me sometimes that would be a no no…

So far I have commenced ironing the humongous pile of wrinkly and scrunched up clothes (apparently not all people prefer to wear there t-shirts with that ‘I actually slept in this last night’ look that I have come accustomed to) and had cleaned two bathrooms, so I am more than well on my way to earning some cash!

*side note, the cleaning of the bathrooms was in fact to pay off another debt I had so really I have just broken even as of right now*

I will keep you updated and informed of the pre-AVCON shenanigans, however they will most likely be along the lines of ‘cleaning out the gutters’ or ‘mowing the lawn’ or ‘drying the dishes' (Actually no. Morally I draw the line at drying dishes… It's like listening to Bruno Mars. It physically hurts me. ) and other fun activities such as these!

- Tim out!

So we were trying to practice tying a dog’s muzzle with a bandage, but we didn’t have a dog so we ended up making one.

So we were trying to practice tying a dog’s muzzle with a bandage, but we didn’t have a dog so we ended up making one.

The 59th day without Robyn…

Today marks the wondrous and gloryful day that I am officially free from any academic commitments or school-like festivities! Yes, I am of course talking about the fact that my final exam was YESTERDAY and thus now I am free to wonder and frolic in the good life for the next three weeks!

And so to begin my wondering and frolicking in the good life, I celebrated the way I had planned to since almost the dawn of time.

I slept.

Well at least I intended to sleep, however the infernal beeping which awoke me from my slumber this morning had other plans. Rolling reluctantly out of bed I went into Le Parents room to investigate.

And found Mamma Goose.

Playing Candy Crush.

With the volume on full blast.

Disgruntled and partially still in my sleepy land, I crawled into bed with Mamma Goose and informed her about the magic of the ‘mute’ button and how that being woken up by the chanting of ‘Sweet’ and ‘Nice move’ by an automated voice that sounds like it has ingested one too many helium balloons, as well as an infernal beeping from a game I will probably never understand, is not the nicest way to start the day! From there I proceeded to nap a little more in the comfort of Le Parents bigger bed because I was too lazy to walk the full ten meters back to my room!

When I woke up for a second time I was greeted by a puppy in my face, another puppy sitting on my legs (equally in my face), a Kitty cat squashed in the tiny gap between my pillow and my shoulder and Mamma Goose presenting me with two lovely bowls of porridge (apparently trying to make up for the whole ‘Candy Crush first thing in the morning fiasco’).

And theses were not just your average golden syrup covered, fruit included bows of porridge. Oh no. These bowls of porridge could feed the thousands.

These

We’re

Massive

Bowls

Of

Porridge!

It was almost as if Mamma Goose envisioned I had woken from a coma and this was the first meal I had eaten in several months, or alternatively, this would be the last meal I would consume for a long time. Moral of the story? it was a lot of frigin food! So much so I required the mouths of Sargent Puddles, Agent Happy and Deputy Fishfingers in order to polish off the feast adequately.

…Which in hind sight was probably not the best thing to do whilst in your parent’s bed, because much like on the few occasions I encounter Jaffa Cakes, getting your two dogs and your cat to assist you with eating your breakfast does not do wonders for table etiquette, nor does it help with the prospect of bed sheets staying clean and porridge free for very long….

Lets just say that I don’t think mum will be making porridge for me again any time soon…

As I don’t think also that Sargent Puddles will be getting all of that porridge out of his fur any time soon!

There

Was

Porridge

E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E!

Porridge aside, Mamma Goose and I took the kids for a walk this morning around the block in the foggy weather we have been having of late, went to a few thrift shops (not a lot was found, but I think we bonded over the experience none the less), bought some car mats from Kmart (as well as some candles, chocolate and a bird cage because of reasons) and ended up watching The Hobbit while eating spaghetti and banana bread back in bed when we got home in the afternoon!

All in all, not a shoddy way to christen the first day of the holidays!

Isotope rocking hats like the BAMF he truly is ;)